


Pizza

by bahh1



Category: Block B
Genre: Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-06
Updated: 2014-11-06
Packaged: 2018-02-24 08:36:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2575040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bahh1/pseuds/bahh1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kyung has a boring part-time job as a pizza delivery guy until he meets a hot stranger (and his weird-ass friends).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pizza

Kyung has a shitty job as a pizza delivery guy when he meets a hot guy pretty eyes and eyebrows..

 

~

 

The hot stranger just stares at him, one eyebrow raised, leaning on the doorway one evening when Kyung's on delivery duty.

 

Kyung swears he can hear Madonna's Beautiful Stranger start playing somewhere in the distance and as he keeps staring at the stranger, the music seems to move towards him until it becomes the annoying high-pitched beeeeep right behind his ear.

 

he snaps out of it after a minute. “You high, man?” the stranger with the eyebrows and pretty fox eyes asks and Kyung feels like he needs to re-learn how to talk cause, fuck, he's like

 

“Uu-uh, Hellyeo, I have a pi-pizza here for uh, u-uuh..” he checks the name scribbled on the pizza box just under his chin where he's been holding the damn thing, squinting “Jeehaa?”

 

Apparently his shit spelling is a turn-off cause the stranger looks at him a bit disgusted and Kyung is pretty sure he just mumbled 'that's why people like you work as pizza delivery guys' so Kyung just shoves the pizza in the stranger's face, staring at the ground, yelling the price annoyingly.

 

The stranger gives him the money and never has Park Kyung run away from a customer before. He still feels the stranger's eyes on him when he scrambles into his car and starts the engine.

 

“Shit, guys you just missed on some sick shit with a cute delivery guy!” is the last thing he hears, though.

 

~

 

When a tall handsome guy opens the door the next day, Kyung is so disappointed that he doesn't notice the fact that he's only wearing his underwear.

 

“Jiho, is that the guy with the cute ass who ran away embarrassed yesterday?” The tall prick yells behind his shoulder and the 'Jeehaa' appears, gripping the Tall Prick's head in a shoulder lock to quiet him down for good.

 

“Heya, gorgeous!” wow, you smooth motherfucker.

 

Jeehaa smiles, WINKING and Kyung is ready to shit himself, why is he so hot god damn!

 

“Uh, hello, I have an order for uh..” Kyung squints again, cause there's a new name on the pizza box, “Zee-choo?”

 

Kyung quirks an eyebrow, who dat?

 

“It's Zico.. and your name is?” the Jeehaa aka Zeechoo aka Zico aka Mister Hot-eyebrows1274 zooms in on Kyung's name tag

 

“.. Patrick?”

 

“N-no it's Kyung, that's the old employe's name tag.” Kyung holds onto it, all offended like Jeehaa was staring at his boobies or something.

 

“Here's your pizza, sir.” Kyung pushes the box into the Tall Prick's face as Jeehaa hands him the money with a 'keep the change'.

 

As Kyung runs away, even faster than the day before, he hears Tall Prick saying 'you're right, he DOES have a great ass!' and Jeehaa's crazy hyena laughter as the front door slams closed and drowns their laughter.

 

~

 

Third time, a cute short guy opens the door, and Kyung is a bit taken aback for some reason and he has to physically lean towards the customer, zooming in on him because he's just so, so.. so small and cute!

 

Kyung does a little victory dance in his mind because he's 100% sure the customer is shorter than him (even though he looks like a 12 year old).

 

As Kyung stares at him with this motherly smile on his face, the stranger barks at him with a 'what are you looking at?!' and huffs. Kyung wants to 'aww' so bad but feels like he's gonna get murdered by the little thug man baby.

 

“Ah, Taeil hyung, let it go, man.” Jeehaa comes and guides the angry midget guy into the house (he's still pouting and huffing angrily with crossed arms as he leaves). “He's a bit sensitive when it comes to people doting him..”

 

“So yeah, uh.. how're you doing?”

 

Kyung would love to talk about his life, like how the jeans he tried on made his ass look all perky and perfect and how remembered the good old times when he was a head taller than his high school gym teacher but he's in a hurry so he's all like 'fine thanks, that'll be 12 bucks, uh, Jiho?'

 

“You got my name right, babe~” Jiho grins and Kyung just snatches the money away from the hot-ass guy, yelling 'I'll be keeping the change' while running the fuck away from there.

 

Fuck, why is he so hOT GOD DAMNIT FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUck!!!!

 

~

 

It takes so much time for the door to open this time that Kyung thinks he's gonna die of old age but at least the thumps he hears inside the house are coming closer to the door. Suddenly the loud yells get exchanged in horror-stricken shrieks and Kyung uses the pizza box to push the door open since it was unlocked.

 

Kyung has a to-do list of things he wants to do before the dies and number 6 is watching somebody get murdered. What?! Nothing wrong with that!!

 

Kyung opens the door further with his foot while grabbing a slice of pizza to eat while observing this scene.

 

And what a scene it is. Apparently the corridor is designed as a jungle with trees and shit and someone's playing drums somewhere and there's a dude dressed as a monkey literally swinging from a rope until he hits his whole body on the wall just in front of Kyung pretty much like George of the Jungle.

 

“Ow!” wow, he also sounds like a monkey, a gorilla to be exact, Kyung thinks, impressed.

 

“Does any of you losers want the friggen pizza or am I gonna eat it myself and tell my boss I got robbed on the way here?” with that, 6 guys run out of the trees and bushes and stuff, all covered in war paint and Kyung thinks it's the most hilarious sight in the world (also hottest cause hot-pants-pretty-eyes-boy looks super sexy wearing face paint and that loose T-shirt).

 

 

~

 

 

“Okay, I've had the shittiest day of my life, a bird shat on me, I got chased by stray dogs, a customer threw up on my shirt (hence his personal shirt he's wearing without the Patrick name tag), I got yelled at and I am tired as fuck, please stop flirting with me and just leave me alone to die in this bush” he points at the bush next to the house with a nod of his head.

 

No, he  _does_  look like shit and the kitty-faced smiling angel peeks out of the door, pointing at Kyung: “Ooh, I like this one.” and away he does.

 

“So that's your last round today?” Kyung half-nods cause his just so exhausted. “Then you don't mind coming in and meeting the gang, do you?”

 

And for some reason, he shakes his head, defeated.

 

They set foot in the house, right into the TV room and with Jiho's hand on his back, Kyung introduces himself, all high and mighty.

 

He sees the Tall Prick, Jaehyo as he learns and he has a hunch that he'll be pissing him off daily,

he sees the Cutest Midget Guy slouched over the armrest of the couch with his tattoos hanging and feels like they'll hit off great, (Taeillie hyung)

he sees the Monkey Guy all over the midget guy, snuggling apparently, and the monkey guy smiles, waving frantically at him, welcoming him 'to the gang' (Jihoonie is a great name for him, but he prefers monkey guy tbh)

he sees the Cat-angel hybrid guy sitting on the floor, he just finished playing a tune on his guitar (he's placing it down now to greet Kyung, telling him his name - Ukwon)

he sees the plain guy from the other side of the couch glaring at him, the fuck? Jiho says he looks like that all he time and that his name is Minhyuk or Bibom.

 

He sees an empty space between Bibom and Monkey Guy on the couch and feels like him and Jiho fit right in the middle perfectly.

 

he sees them all and he knows.

Oh he knows.

He's gonna be part of this gang and he's gonna hate the shit out of every one of them.

 

Especially Jiho, whose hand is still on his back and now that hand twirls him around a little and Kyung is now facing Jiho and the dickface plants his giant-ass lips on his and gives him a wet French one right in front of everyone (the audience is gaping and making gagging noises at them) and Kyung freaks out so bad cause he's so embarrassed and angry so he punches Jiho right in the cheekbone and everyone laughs, approving Kyung.

 

“Welcome to the family!”

 


End file.
